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Joe Browns Printed Ultimate Coat (I Hate Traveling)

Dec 22, 2012

In the words of my late mama, “It was colder than a witch’s titty today!” Horrible. I DO NOT LIKE THE COLD. It makes my bones hurt. Technically, it does not make my bones hurt, it makes everything wrapped around my bones hurt (muscles, myofascia, skin…).

And what’s worse is that we’re traveling tomorrow, by plane (I do not like them, Sam I Am).

We will be flying to someplace warm (NOT, that was just my wishful thinking). Warmer than Alaska, but colder than here.

And instead of staying in a house, we will be staying in a motel or hotel or whatever they are called. And living out of a suitcase. I do not like suitcases, Sam I Am.

My two dogs and one of my cats are boarded, which I’ve never done before. Someone is going to look after the other two cats and the rodents. I do not like leaving my pets…Sam I Am.

SO… I’m trying to figure out how to bail. Maybe if I pretend I’m dead. Hm. Well, that would just cause a whole big stir, and it would mess up everyone’s holiday. Once they found out we had missed our plane because I was pretending to be dead but wasn’t really dead, everyone would be pissed at me. But I’d still be snuggly warm under my covers, so it might be worth it.

What’s the point in having a closet full of nice clothes and some awesome coats and boots if there is no room to pack them for a trip? When it comes right down to it, in the morning I’ll probably throw in a couple of bras (one for looks and one for comfort – they are mutually exclusive), a few pairs of Fruit of the Looms, a couple of pairs of jeans, some socks, and three or four tops. Some jewelry. Nail polish. Eyebrow stuff. And my steamer. Because we’re staying in a stupid motel or hotel or whatever they’re called. And I don’t know if there will be a steamer. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to iron. Oh, crap. I probably have to pack shampoo, too. And toothpaste.

My bag is the only one that will be checked.

I’m going to have to throw in a dress because we always have to go to church with my in-laws. My husband’s father is a pastor. So we always have to go to church. I bought a red dress for extra festiveness, but I haven’t tried it on yet. I hope it doesn’t need a slip. If it does, I’ll have to buy a slip. I need to take some hose. Or leggings. This is so annoying. I don’t have to wear a dress to church. It’s not like we’re going to the South for Christmas. But I bought the red dress for church just this one time.

I have a beautiful coat that I would love to wear. I also have a practical coat that it would make more sense to wear. Both of them are long. The former is featured in this post, and the latter is a purple-ish parka, perfect for the colder-than-a-witch’s-titty weather I am faced with right now.

I don’t know what I’ll wear on my feet. House slippers come to mind, but it’s probably too cold for that. And that might not work in all social situations. Birkenstocks are always first choice, but that isn’t happening. Not when it’s 27F with a wind chill of 15F. With ice. And snow. Pretty snow. Evil ice. So maybe I’ll pack some house slippers and my favorite pair of boots. And one pair of flats. To go with the red dress. For which I may or may not need a slip. In which to bust my ass if I fall. On the evil ice.

I haven’t wrapped any presents. I’ll be putting the presents in my suitcase and wrapping them in the motel or hotel or whatever. They sell wrapping paper there, too. Probably not at the hotel/motel. But maybe nearby. I hope. And tape. And bows. Surely, there’s a Target around there somewhere.

I’m so LAME. I need someone to do all of this for me.

What is shown below is a beautiful, wonderful coat made by Joe Browns that I got through SimplyBe. JOE BROWNS PRINTED ULTIMATE COAT, $179, Red Flower, Size 28. I love it, and I may take it with me just for the compliments it gets.






Many, many thanks to Kira Childers Photography for the fantastic session last Sunday! It was so much fun!

I hope you all have a Merry Christmas, and I will post when I get back. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing!


4 Comments leave one →
  1. Dec 30, 2012 6:58 pm

    I love this fashion blog and you are finding some adorable clothes. How fun! 🙂 It’s colder than a witch’s titty here too. It was warm well into December and then – bam! Winter. I guess it has to happen, but I am never ready… Happy New Year to you. Cheers.


  2. Nicole permalink
    Aug 31, 2013 12:11 am


    I was debating buying this Joe Brown’s coat in black. I couldn’t find any pictures on models, so thank you so much for posting. I am between sizes, and I was wondering about the material… does it have any give or strength to it? I’m wondering if I should size up out down.

    Thanks so much!


    • Sep 1, 2013 5:45 am


      Thank you for posting! The fabric has a little bit of Spandex in it, but the coat, or at least last year’s coat – the one I have, has a cord on the back at the waist that you can use to tighten. The buttons, while being gorgeous, are not sewn with the purpose of keeping you from busting out of the coat. Since you can tighten it with the cord, I’d say size up. I hope this helps, and let us know what you decide! I love Joe Brown’s stuff. I would like to see their clothing modeled, too. Thanks for reading the blog post!



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